There was once a handsome prince who ruled the land of the Wobbly-Dum-Bums.
He was promised to the daughter of another king, whose name was Kansas, but he did not love her.
Pressured by his upcoming marriage, the prince packed up his most valuable objects (a sword, a royal
pendant and a Snoop Dogg CD) and ran away from home.
He journeyed through the woods and traveled deep into them until he came upon and old cobbler with
a purple top hat.
The cobbler was no ordinary cobbler, but a magical cobbler and he said that he would grant
the prince three wishes. When the prince asked him why, the cobbler told him to shut the fuck up and quit asking questions.
Then the cobbler pulled something out of his pocket (it was pink) and he told the prince to rub it
as he wished for his first wish.
The prince closed his eyes, rubbed the pink rubbery thing and wished for a boatload of cash. When
he opened his eyes the cobbler had left, taking the prince's suitcase with him and leaving him alone in the woods with a condom
in his hands.
"Bitch." said the prince. With a sigh, he carried on his merry way, but had to leak in a bush first.
"AAAH!!! It burns!" the prince heard. He stopped relieving himself and saw a snail under the bush.
"I'm gonna get mah homies and and fuck ya up!" the snail said, and sped away.
But as we all know, snails are not fast and do not have homies, so the prince, very annoyed at the
snail, simply lifted his foot and squish! The snail was no more.
"Shit," the prince thought. "I should've said 'say hello to my little friend!' before stepping on
Oh well. So he carried on his merry-- oh shit. I have to piss again...
After making a mental note to get bladder surgery, the prince continued on his way. After a couple
of hours, the prince met a knight on the road. The knight had been sent by King Kansas of Kalimdor (known by his friends as
KKK) to find the prince and return him to his castle where he would marry KKK's daughter.
When the knight had explained to the prince what was going down, he told him that he did not love
the princess (eh, she doesn't have a name, but for now we shall call her Boobs McBitch, because that is all she could be)
and would not be going to the KKK's castle.
Besides, the prince was black.
To be continued. I think.