The Hand of Mockery

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The internet has taught me three things...
1. I can't stand pop-ups.
2. I can't stand people who design pop-ups.
3. I can't stand people who don't mind pop-ups.

If you're familiar enough with the internet to be reading this right now, then you must also be familiar with the term "pop-ups". A pop-up is a window that opens itself automatically when you are in certain sites offering you a Porsche or a fifty-thousand dollar check or anything else that you would have to be seriously ill to give away. Sometimes they'll be in the form of a crappy game that you can't possibly lose (When have you ever heard someone say "Oh, darn it! That monkey is just too fast for me to punch!"). Or sometimes they'll give you a poll asking you questions like "Are you stupid enough to give us your credit card number?" and if you answer Yes they'll offer you a Porsche but if you answer No they'll say "According to our survey, you suck. Do you want to try again?".

Personally, I dislike pop-ups. So you can imagine my excitement the other day when I found a free pop-up blocker and downloaded it. Now I know why it's free. Whenever it blocks a pop-up, it makes a really irritating beeping noise and replaces the pop-up window with a window telling you that a pop-up has been blocked. Brilliant. Really brilliant. In all honesty, I really don't mind ads in a window because they don't get in your face, but pop-ups are so awful that I could just kill myself. I mean, I understand that there are some people in this world who are inconsiderate of other people's feelings. But you must truly have and ice-cold heart to design a pop-up window. Like, if you stabbed an old lady to death in front of her grandchildren, took her money and spent it on cigarettes, you'd STILL be more pleasant than the guy who makes a living designing pop-ups. Pop-up man, if you're out there, I just want to tell you that you deserve to be mauled by a group of angry gnomes, spit on by hillbillies, and raped by a group of lonely fat men, all while suffering from diarrhea.

Nobody likes you.

Pey M. E.

Click here to get a pop-up!

Feedback? Submissions? Suggestions? Or maybe you just want to tell me how much of your time I wasted by making this website? Email me at pey@thehandofmockery.com.