Bratz Dolls

The Hand of Mockery

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Teaching little girls worldwide to be bitchy.

I'm not too sure what their names are, so I'll call them Bitch One, Two, Three, Four and Five.

Bratz are a new line of dolls that have become the new competition for Barbie dolls. Basically, they're a bunch of clones of Angelina Jolie, but with even bigger lips. They have slumber parties, and they like to go skiing. I took the time to visit their website, and I found the profiles of the Bratz. There's Jade, who says "The girls call me 'Kool Kat' because I love cats! And because I'm cool!" Then there's Yasmin, who says "The girls call me 'Pretty Princess' because I rule" There's also a group of Bratz Boyz. My favorite one was Cade. Here's what he had to say: "Hey! My name is Cade! The Bratz call me the 'Viper'." I could come up with fifty dirty comments right now. Challenge me, I dare you. I fucking dare you.

I can't imagine how difficult being a parent must be. I can buy my daughter a Barbie doll and risk that my daughter becomes anorexic, or I can buy her a Bratz doll and risk that she becomes a prostitute. The website says that Bratz are "The girls with a passion for fashion". I call it "passion for dressing slutty". And the really sad part is that there are little girls playing with these dolls, hoping that they grow up to be just like them. The name itself gets on my nerves. They're not just brats, they're Bratz, with a Z instead of an S. Oooh. They must be true rebels. It's stupid. What kind of a parent buys their daughter a "Bratz" doll? And why would a girl want to be like them? At least Barbie had graduated from a number of Universities. She could be a vet, an astronaut, a movie star, or anything else. The Bratz, on the other hand, are neither successful nor pretty. In fact I'll go so far as to say that they're ugly. They're midgets. They've had so many implants on their lips that they no longer need airbags. They wear way too much make-up. And the thing that caught my attention the most was the fact that the Bratz boys have noses, but the girls don't. It's as if someone decided that noses are for men, and that they look ugly on girls.

Welcome to the world of the pre-teen mind, bitch.

-Pey M. E.

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