Japanese Anime

The Hand of Mockery

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Spiky hair and superhuman strengh. Or robots. Or pets.

I didn't know that Japanese people have see-through hair. Now THERE'S something I could use.

At first it was a quirky little novelty. A new, different type of animation that was, to be completely honest, rather poorly made. It was the sort of thing that only a small handful of people liked. Japanese animation. With time, the industry grew, and soon most people knew of it. Nowadays, Japanese animation can be found everywhere around us. It's become the new cool thing, the way of entertainment for a new generation. It has gained popularity mainly around the US, and few people know that only 30% of the so-called "Japanese" animation that Americans watch is actually Japanese. In fact, Japanese animation has much more influence in the US than it does in Japan, or any other countries. And what do I have to say about it?

I'm absolutely sick of Japanese anime. Just its name sickens me. Anime. Hey, moron, it's aniMATION, not anime. Say the whole god damn word, it won't kill you (but if it did, I wouldn't exactly be crying my heart out). Basically, I'll just categorize the three different types of Japanese animes that there are.

i. A guy with spiked hair uses his superhuman strength to fight another guy with spiked hair.

ii. A guy with spiked hair uses his giant robot to fight the giant robot of another guy with spiked hair.

iii. A guy with spiked hair uses his pet monsters to fight the pet monsters of another guy with spiked hair.

...Seeing a pattern? I certainly am. Japanese people like to watch people with spiked hair fight. And truly, all anime shows are just like each other with a few minor differences. I'll tell you why I'm so sure.

In 6th grade, I had decided to start watching anime, hoping that I would understand what was so special about it (a decision which I still regret to this day). So for a week, I watched an episode of the same anime show every day. But halfway through the week, they cancelled the show I was watching and started showing a different one. And here's absolute proof that all anime shows are just slightly modified clones of each other. Even though I had been watching one show for the first half of the week and a different one for the second half, I didn't realize until much, much later that they were two different shows. I thought I had been watching the same show all week.

Comic books, TV, Movies and Video Games are all being sucked in by the anime industry. It is things like this that make me wish I were living in the 60s with my good old pals, Tom and Jerry. That's what I call animation.

-Pey M. E.

Feedback? Submissions? Suggestions? Or maybe you just want to tell me how much of your time I wasted by making this website? Email me at pey@thehandofmockery.com.