American Idol

The Hand of Mockery

Other Stuff

Guaranteed to make your ears bleed.


Have you ever wished for a television show in which a group of morons sing songs about their imaginary friends in order to win a bunch of money? You haven't? Well, pretend that you have so that I can tell you all about American Idol. American Idol is a show about talent less puberty-stricken teenagers who sing karaoke songs and are reviewed by three judges. There are two nice American judges and one mean British judge. But wait, it gets better! During the first few episodes, you can see the try-outs of all the people who didn't make it to the top list. Which is very good, because don't we all want to spend our time watching a bunch of losers sing like crap? We don't?

Well then explain to me who was the sick, sick man that decided to make this show. Is there a "Stupidest-Idea-Ever" convention that I have not been attending? But here's the thing that really puzzles me. This sorry excuse for a television show is a complete hit. People love it. They actually turn their television sets on to watch this show. They go through the trouble of pushing a button in order to watch this show. Out of their free will! They're not getting paid or anything! These little freaks actually WANT to watch losers sing like crap.

Well, America, your new idol is cheap and pathetic. Even for YOUR standards.

-Pey M. E.

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